| But, you see, Jo wasn't a heroine, she was only a struggling human girl like hundreds of others, and she just acted out her nature, being sad, cross, listless, or energetic, as the mood suggestedIt's highly virtuous to say we'll be good, but we can't do it all at once, and it takes a long pull, a strong pull, and a pull all together before some of us even get our feet set in the right wayJo had got so far, she was learning to do her duty, and to feel unhappy if she did not, but to do it cheerfully, ah, that was another thing! She had often said she wanted to do something splendid, no matter how hard, and now she had her wish, for what could be more beautiful than to devote her life to Father and Mother, trying to make home as happy to them as they had to her? And if difficulties were necessary to increase the splendor of the effort, what could be harder for a restless, ambitious girl than to give up her own hopes, plans, and desires, and cheerfully live for others?
Providence had taken her at her wordHere was the task, not what she had expected, but better because self had no part in itNow, could she do it? She decided that she would try, and in her first attempt she found the helps I have suggestedStill another was given her, and she took it, not as a reward, but as a comfort, as Christian took the refreshment afforded by the little arbor where he rested, as he climbed the hill called Difficulty
"Why don't you write? That always used to make you happy," said her mother once, when the desponding fit over-shadowed Jo
"I've no heart to write, and if I had, nobody cares for my thingsWrite something for us, and never mind the rest of the worldI'm sure it would do you good, and please us very much
"Don't believe I can But Jo got out her desk and began to overhaul her half-finished manuscripts
An hour afterward her mother peeped in and there she was, scratching away, with her black pinafore on, and an absorbed expression, which caused MrsMarch to smile and slip away, well pleased with the success of her gucci watch uk suggestionJo never knew how it happened, but something got into that story that went straight to the hearts of those who read it, for when her family had laughed and cried over it, her father sent it, much against her will, to one of the popular magazines, and to her utter surprise, it was not only paid for, but others requestedLetters from several persons, whose praise was honor, followed the appearance of the little story, newspapers copied it, and strangers as well as friends, admired itFor a small thing it was a great success, and Jo was more astonished than when her novel was commended and condemned all at once
"I don't understand itWhat can there be in a simple little story like that to make people praise it so?" she said, quite bewildered
"There is truth in it, Jo, that's the secretHumor and pathos make it alive, and you have found your style at lastYou wrote with not thoughts of fame and money, and put your heart into it, my daughterYou have had the bitter, now comes the sweetDo your best, and grow as happy as we are in your success
"If there is anything good or true in what I write, it isn't mineI owe it all to you and Mother and Beth," said Jo, more touched by her father's words than by any amount of praise from the world
So taught by love and sorrow, Jo wrote her little stories, and sent them away to make friends for themselves and her, finding it a very charitable world to such humble wanderers, for they were kindly welcomed, and sent home comfortable tokens to their mother, like dutiful children whom good fortune overtakes
When Amy and Laurie wrote of their engagement, MrsMarch feared that Jo would find it difficult to rejoice over it, but her fears were soon set at rest, for thought Jo looked grave at first, she took it very quietly, and was full of hopes and plans for `the children' before she read the letter twiceIt was a sort of written duet, wherein each glorified the other in loverlike fashion, very pleasant to read and satisfactory to think of, for no one had any objection to make
"You like cartier ladies santos series replica watches it, Mother?" said Jo, as they laid down the closely written sheets and looked at one another
"Yes, I hoped it would be so, ever since Amy wrote that she had refused FredI felt sure then that something better than what you call the `mercenary spirit' had come over her, and a hint here and there in her letters made me suspect that love and Laurie would win the day
"How sharp you are, Marmee, and how silent! You never said a worked to me
"Mothers have need of sharp eyes and discreet tongues when they have girls to manageI was half afraid to put the idea into your head, lest you should write and congratulate them before the thing was settled
"I'm not the scatterbrain I wasI'm sober and sensible enough for anyone's confidante now
"So you are, my dear, and I should have made you mine, only I fancied it might pain you to learn that your Teddy loved someone else
"Now, Mother, did you really think I could be so silly and selfish, after I'd refused his love, when it was freshest, if not best?"
"I knew you were sincere then, Jo, but lately I have thought that if he came back, and asked again, you might perhaps, feel like giving another answerForgive me, dear, I can't help seeing that you are very lonely, and sometimes there is a hungry look in your eyes that goes to my heartSo I fancied that your boy might fill the empty place if he tried now
"No, Mother, it is better as it ia, and I'm glad Amy has learned to love himBut you are right in one thingI am lonely, and perhaps if Teddy had tried again, I might have said `Yes', not because I love him any more, but because I care more to be loved than when he went away
"I'm glad of that, Jo, for it shows that you are getting onThere are plenty to love you, so try to be satisfied with Father and Mother, sisters and brothers, friends and babies, till the best lover of all comes to give you your reward
"Mothers are the best lovers in the world, but I don't mind whispering to Marmee that I'd like to try all kindsIt's very curious, but the more I try to satisfy myself omega usa with all sorts of natural affections, the more I seem to wantI'd no idea hearts could take in so manyMine is so elastic, it never seems full now, and I used to be quite contented with my familyI don't understand itMarch smiled her wise smile, as Jo turned back the leaves to read what Amy said of Laurie
"It is so beautiful to be loved as Laurie loves meHe isn't sentimental, doesn't say much about it, but I see and feel it in all he says and does, and it makes me so happy and so humble that I don't seem to be the same girl I wasI never knew how good and generous and tender he was till now, for he lets me read his heart, and I find it full of noble impulses and hopes and purposes, and am so proud to know it's mineHe says he feels as if he `could make a prosperous voyage now with me aboard as mate, and lots of love for ballast'I pray he may, and try to be all he believes me, for I love my gallant captain with all my heart and soul and might, and never will desert him, while God lets us be togetherOh, Mother, I never knew how much like heaven this world could be, when two people love and live for one another!"
"And that's our cool, reserved, and worldly Amy! Truly, love does work miraclesHow very, very happy they must be!" And Jo laid the rustling sheets together with a careful hand, as one might shut the covers of a lovely romance, which holds the reader fast till the end comes, and he finds himself alone in the workaday world again
By-and-by Jo roamed away upstairs, for it was rainy, and she could not walkA restless spirit possessed her, and the old feeling came again, not bitter as it once was, but a sorrowfully patient wonder why one sister should have all she asked, the other nothingIt was not true, she knew that and tried to put it away, but the natural craving for affection was strong, and Amy's happiness woke the hungry longing for someone to `love with heart and soul, and cling to while God let them be together'Up in the garret, where Jo's unquiet wanderings ended stood four little wooden chests in a row, gucci coin wallet each marked with its owners name, and each filled with relics of the childhood and girlhood ended now for allJo glanced into them, and when she came to her own, leaned her chin on the edge, and stared absently at the chaotic collection, till a bundle of old exercise books caught her eyeShe drew them out, turned them over, and relived that pleasant winter at kind MrsShe had smiled at first, then she looked thoughtful, next sad, and when she came to a little message written in the Professor's hand, her lips began to tremble, the books slid out of her lap, and she sat looking at the friendly words, as they took a new meaning, and touched a tender spot in her heart
"Wait for me, my friendI may be a little late, but I shall surely come
"Oh, if he only would! So kine, so good, so patient with me always, my dear old FritzI didn't value him half enough when I had him, but now how I should love to see him, for everyone seems going away from me, and I'm all alone
And holding the little paper fast, as if it were a promise yet to be fulfilled, Jo laid her head down on a comfortable rag bag, and cried, as if in opposition to the rain pattering on the roof
Was it all self-pity, loneliness, or low spirits? Or was it the waking up of a sentiment which had bided its time as patiently as its inspirer? Who shall say?
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
Jo was alone in the twilight, lying on the old sofa, looking at the fire, and thinkingIt was her favorite way of spending the hour of duskNo one disturbed her, and she used to lie there on Beth's little red pillow, planning stories, dreaming dreams, or thinking tender thoughts of the sister who never seemed far awayHer face looked tired, grave, and rather sad, for tomorrow was her birthday, and she was thinking how fast the years went by, how old she was getting, and how little she seemed to have accomplishedAlmost twenty-five, and nothing to show for itJo was mistaken in thatThere was a good deal to show, and by-and-by she saw, and was grateful for it
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